Superintendent Bookman

Nathan Bookman is the Building Superintendent. At first, he is a hated enemy of the Evans family, constantly trying to get them evicted. But, gradually, through the passing seasons, and especially after James' death, he becomes a friend. Printed below are a choice selection of some of the the more memorable insults and arguments. All J.J's words are in Orange.

Bookman enters: Good afternoon folks! J.J: Hell! It was till you got here! What do You want Bookman? Bookman: Do I detect a note of hostility? J.J: You detect a whole symphony!

Bookman enters: The hot water's being turned off tonight. Thelma: Hey! What are we gonna do about bathing? Bookman: Why don't you folks learn to take cold showers like me? Because we're not married to Mrs. Bookman! Bookman: I'll remember that remark next time you need a favor! Arriba Durche Lard-o!

Bookman enters: Howdy folks! I'm puttin' a new lightbulb in your fridgerator today! J.J: Oh come on Bookman! You know, if you hadn't been stickin' your big head in there all the time we wouldn't need no new light bulb!

As Bookman leaves, J.J. shouts at him in anger: Mr. Bookman... or as you're more affectionately known, Buffalo-Butt! You are so dumb, you couldn't flush a toilet if the instructions were written on the handle! Furthermore, your dumbness is exceeded only by your fatness! When you go to the movies, you have to get two tickets! One for each side of your butt!

Bookman enters: Well here I am! I got a report about a busted window in the bathroom? Thelma: Yeah, that was three months ago, and we fixed it ourselves! Bookman: Well, I'm glad to have been of service. Bye! Thelma: Wait a minute Bookman! The hinge on the toilet seat is loose. Bookman: Hey, that's dangerous. Somebody could get hurt! J.J: Somebody did get hurt! Little Penny: Mr. Bookman? Can I come watch you? Bookman: Sure Penny, but why do you wanna watch? Little Penny: Because my Momma always says you don't know which end is up. And I wanna see how the toilet seat turns out.

J.J: We gotta get rid of this horrible tasting formosa punch! Who we gonna give it to? Michael: Who don't we like? We already gave some to Bookman. Let's see if Mrs. Bookman is home!

Florida: Bookman, you always wear that tool belt, but you never fix anything. How come you wear it? Bookman: It's to hold my pants up. Florida: I thought your belly did that!

Florida: Bookman, why don't you do something about our front door. Bookman: What's wrong with it? Florida: You're on the wrong side of it!

Willona: Well, it's Mr. Buffalo-Brain himself! Bookman: What happened to Buffalo-Butt? Willona: Yo' butt and yo' brain's in the same place! Bookman: Last night I didn't get any sleep. I tossed and turned all night! Willona: Yeah. I know. The whole building was rumblin'.

Bookman's showing new tennants around: Come on, let me show you the laundry room. The way I keep that place, it should be in a magazine! J.J: Yeah! Better slums and garbage!

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